A psychic and a psycho
by super spiral
Summary: (sequel to the introduction of Sam) A certain triangle appears in South Park and makes a deal with Kenny. Lots of Bill Cipher is a Dorito jokes because I like them.


**Hey guys! This is a sequel to "the introduction of Sam" please check it out on my profile before reading this or you will be confused. Happy reading!**

"Guess what?" Sam's dad asked cheerfully as Sam finished her grilled cheese sandwich.

"What?" Sam asked after swallowing.

"It's been officially one month since we moved here!" said.

"Oh, really? I haven't been paying attention. That month went by fast" Sam said and picked up her empty plate.

"So should we celebrate or what?" her dad asked excitedly.

"Honestly Dad, it's not that big a deal" Sam said.

"Come on Samantha one month!"

"I get it Dad, I get it." Sam sighed and put her plate in the dishwasher. "I'll just tell the guys tomorrow at school, ok?"

"You know…" Mr. Wilcox started.

Sam groaned, "Not this again!"

"Why can't you make friends with some girls there are plenty in your class, Lizzy, Bebe-" her father read off her class list.

"Why are you so against this different-gender friends stuff? You were fine with me being friends with Mathew back in Miami!"

"Mathew wasn't as… weird as your new friends" Her dad said.

"Quit calling my friends weird" Sam said. "Everyone's different!"

"I know, I'm sorry" Mr. Wilcox said and put his own dishes away. "The kid who always wears the coat seems a bit pervy to me."

"If that's so, then that's just how he is" Sam said. "I'm going to bed."

* * *

Kenny sat on his house's rooftop that night, a habit picked up from Sam.

Sam had tried to help him gain understanding of his immortality a week before but they seemed to be getting nowhere. Kenny had asked her to use her psychic abilities but Sam told him she couldn't control what she felt or saw.

"I wish I knew" Kenny said aloud.

"So it's knowledge ya seek, eh?"

"What the fuck?" Kenny looked around for the source of the voice.

"Nah-ah-ah kid, keep it clean" the same voice said.

"Am I hallucinating?" Kenny asked.

"HA HA NO- well, yes, technically."

The voice revealed itself to be a formally dressed triangle.

"Sooooo, what the fuck are you?" Kenny asked it.

"What part of 'keep it clean' don't you understand?" the triangle said.

"Allow me to introduce myself, I am Bill Cipher, wish granter."

Kenny gave him a puzzled look, "You're a genie?"

"I'm a genie, without the hassle of finding an enchanted lamp" Bill said.

"That's cool" Kenny said.

"Heck yeah" Bill Cipher said. "You wanna understand why you're so ding-dang unkillable? I'm your man, well, I'm your triangle!"

Kenny's eyes lit up, "really?"

"Yeah!" Bill said. "I just need a… walk in your shoes and I can definitely solve your question!"

"You gonna conjure the magic of cool ranch doritos or something?" Kenny asked him.

"Eh, no kid just gonna use my infinite power to figure it out" He said. "Oh, wait, that was a joke wasn't it?"

Kenny nodded.

"Anyhoo, we got a deal, kid?" Bill held out his flaming blue hand.

Kenny nodded and grabbed his hand.

And held on to it.

And kept gripping it.

"When am I gonna learn about my-" Kenny started.

"Oh."

Kenny finally realized he was holding on to air.

Bill was laughing evilly inside Kenny's body. "Ah, kid, you were so gullible!"

Kenny looked at him, shocked.

"Have a nice life in the Mindscape kiddo!" he cheered.

"I'm gonna go back into the house" Bill said and jumped off the roof.

Kenny groaned. "Figures with my luck."

* * *

Kenny, really Bill, chatted with Stan Kyle and Cartman at the bus stop until Sam arrived. She was really quite shocked at how he wasn't as meek as he usually was.

"Hi guys" Sam said.

Bill was having a hard job staying in character. He noticed something about Sam and she noticed something about him and they both thought the same thing.

 _He's not normal._

 _She's not normal._

They eyed each other a bit before Stan started talking.

"You're dad posted the same thing on Facebook like a million times." he said to Sam.

Sam rolled her eyes, "Let me guess 'one month anniversary of moving to our new town'"

"Uh, yeah, that's exactly what it says" Stan said.

Kenny was the only one who new of Sam's psychic powers and the others sometimes got a little confused when she could correctly guess random things.

Sam took a small step away from Kenny, his eyes didn't look right and he spoke in a kind of distorted way. She also sat away from him on the bus when it arrived.

* * *

Throughout the school day Sam's suspicion grew. Mr. Garrison seemed shocked when Kenny listed ten right answers in a row without stopping to even think. Even Mr. Hat seemed a little surprised. He also didn't say one vulgar or pervy thing to anyone. By lunchtime Sam really needed to talk to the boys, but first she ran into Kenny in the hallway.

Bill still tried to stay in character around Sam, "How's it going Sam!"

Sam looked at him and saw the soul inside him. Confused, she muttered "dorito?"

"Ok, you're weird" Bill-Kenny said and walked away.

"Thank you very much dorito boy" Sam muttered when he was out of earshot. She knew what she was looking for, but now, where to find it?

* * *

Sam opened up google on her chromebook during lunch. With Stan and Kyle watching ( Cartman claimed not to 'believe in that shit') she typed in "dorito possessing people".

After some poking around Sam finally found something, "Mystery blog: all about Bill Cipher?"

Sam smiled. "Makes deals with others in order to gain control of their body recently defeated by Stanley Pines, Dipper pines, and Mabel Pines."

There was a video too, which Sam clicked on.

"Sooo, this is him dying" Sam said.

"How's a bunch of gibberish gonna help us?" Kyle asked.

"There's more" Sam said. "I feel it."

"You 'feel it' well that's helpful" Stan said sarcastically.

"Shut up, dude, and watch" Sam fiddled with her computer and the video played backwards.

"A-X-O-L-O-T-L my time has come to burn, I invoke the ancient power that I may return!" The three heard.

"OK that was actually helpful" Stan said.

Sam quickly closed the tab, "Hi Kenny!"

Bill was a little surprised she said that before even looking behind her.

He sat down with them and Sam turned off her chromebook.

"It's been kinda boring here" Bill-Kenny said. "Why don't we take a break from this place and go to… I don't know… Oregan." Kenny started eating.

Sam looked at Kyle and Stan "play along" she mouthed.

"Maybe we can pool our money and meet you at the bus stop after school today to see what we can do" Sam said. Stan and Kyle nodded.

"That'd be great thanks" Bill-Kenny said.

"Random unrelated question" Kyle said. "Why are you shirtless in six degree weather?"

Bill-Kenny chuckled, "Frostbite, haven't had it in awhile, it's hilarious."

When he left Sam turned to Stan and Kyle, "Stan, see if you can score me a gun, Kyle, bring matches. We're taking this dorito down!"

"We can't kill Kenny!" Stan said. "It'd get the demon out of his body but one little problem, HE'D DIE!"

"We won't kill him" Sam said. "I'm using an ancient Willow demon-banishing techniice my mother explained to me in a letter once."

"Ok" the boys said.

Sam smiled, "It's time for the dorito to return to his bag!"

* * *

Sam met Stan and Kyle early that evening at the bus stop. Stan gave her a pistol and Kyle gave her a partially full box of matches.

"Thanks, guys" Sam said as she stuck the items in a pouch she had slung over her shoulder.

They waited about seven minutes for Kenny to arrive and all put on fake smiles when he did.

"So glad you could come Kenny" Kyle said.

"We have enough money to get to Oregon, I put it in this pouch…" Sam said as she slowly pulled out the gun, keeping it hidden from view.

Kenny smiled, Bill was just seconds away from what he thought was revenge on the Pines family but really was just another defeat.

Before Bill could realize what was really going on Sam had shot Kenny in the head. She rushed over to his corpse and burned it using the matches.

"You lied" Kyle said, stating the obvious.

"Oh please," Sam said. "You'll forget about it in two seconds."

Sure enough, they did.

"Well, I'm going home" Sam said. "Dad's making pizza tonight!"

 **EPILOGUE**

Sam sat with Kenny on the roof of his house.

"So um, thanks for saving me from that demon" Kenny said. "How'd you know it wasn't me?"

"Part being psychic, part you not being pervy" Sam said and hugged him. "You're boring when you're possessed you know."

"Thanks, I think" Kenny told her.

And that's how this story ends. Two kids hugging on a roof. One hooded one in pajamas. Always there for each other when things get weird or dangerous or unsettling. They would never leave each other hanging. Never be like Lues and Anthony.

 **Author's note: Anthony is Mr. Wilcox's first name (if you haven't already guessed) I appreciate and read all reviews. There will be more stories with Sam. I can feel it :)**


End file.
